Wednesday 29 September 2010

WOT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED,NO...WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?

GOT MY STAGE OUTFIT FOR TONITE......GOANIE TRY N LOSE TEN STONE IN THE VAN FROM BIRMINGHAM TO CARDIFF BY WORKING OUT LIKE A BITCH.....ID FUKING LOVE TO BE A PUMPKIN,SERIOUSLY,FOR REALZ.
NO,BUT WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?
OH,WAIT.....WE JUST GOT A HALF PAGE ADD IN VICE MAGAZINE..SELLING OUT AGAIN GUYS,ITS FINE METALLICA DID IT EVERY NITE!
BEST TOUR MATES EVER........SERIOUSLY,FUKING LOVE THESE CUNTS,SO MUCH SO I SLAM ELBOWED SIMON IN BED LAST NITE IN MY SLEEP,ALSO HIT AKIKO,SHE NOW HAS A BLACK EYE FOR THE FINAL GIG OF THE TOUR TONITE....THE WEDDING / THE DIVORCED SHOW.
WE GOT OUR RIDER BEFORE WE EVEN PLAYED IN CARDIFF,WHAT A MISTAKE....WE TANKED A BOTTLE OF JD AND 25 BEERS BEFORE EVEN PLAYING,I WAS SO FUKED I THOUGHT I WAS IN SLAYER......VICKIE ATE A WHOLE NANA CAKE AND 10 CANS OF RED BULL,SHE WAS OFF HER TITS N PLAYED WITH A PACKET OF BACON STRAPPED OVER HER SHOULDERS N BACK.
NO BUT SERIOUSLY,WAIT,....WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?
GIG WAS PRETTY ANGRY AND AGGRESSIVE,EVEN THOUGH THE CROWD WERE A BIT SUBDUED...I WAS READY TAE FUKING PUNCH VICKIE.
THE CROWD.....I MISS GLASGOW AND LONDON CROWDS AS THEY DO HUMAN PYRAMIDS,I GUESS IF PEOPLE HAVENT SEEN YU BEFORE IT MAYBE FEELS A BIT AWKWARD DOING FORWARD ROLLS N STAR JUMPS N SHIT....MAYBE SECOND VISIT EH?
SIMONS LOOKING KINNA HOT WITH HIS WEE BOW TIE....I REALLY NEED TO GET HOME TO MY BIRD,SPENDING EVERY NIGHT IN BED WITH SIMON I THINK I MAY BE TURNING STRAIGHT...FUCK THAT SHIT!!!!!!...I THINK AKIKOS GROSS THOUGH...ALSO,WE ARE NOT A LESBIAN BAND !
ANDY FUKING LOVES DOING MERCH,BOOZE,FAGS AND TOURING...OH AND BIG BOOBS!
SIMON LOOKING GOOD AGAIN..KEEX IS SORTA OKAY.
HILLARY TRYING TAE LICK THE SPLASHY DREGS OF JD OFF THE TABLE,WE RAN OUTTA BOOZE AND WERE GAGGING ON HAVING EVEN A WIFF OF ALCOHOL....TOTAL ALKIES.
JEN AND JOHN THE PROMOTERS....LOVELY FOLKS!
JENS NANNA,SHE MADE THE FUKING AMAZING CAKE AND IS A MEGA GWAR FAN.....SHE IS FUKING COOL!
AKIKO IS NEARLY AS BIG AS THE NANA CAKE.....SHES ARIGHT,SHES A MEGA D.P FAN...SHE EVEN HAS IT IN HER POSTCODE.
KBS ...MORE LIKE FUKING IBS.......KEEX WAS IN THE TOILET FOR AN HOUR THIS MORNING.....I STUCK TO NAAN SHISH SALAD THING.....I FEEL DEAD FRESH TODAY WITHOUT A SORE BUM.
FRESH,DEAD BURNY,FRESH.....
BIG CUP AND A BIG FINGER.
BIG CUP AND A BIG DOSE OF VALIUM.....MHHHHHHHEEEEELTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!
SIMON IN BED READY TO HAVE A BIG WANK WITH HIS BIG HAND.
I SAW A CATERPILLAR IN MULL,IT LOOKED A BIT COLD BUT I THINK IT WAS OKAY.
SO...ITS FINALLY HERE....TONITE IS THE VERY LAST SHOW WITH COMANECHI IN THE MARRIAGE OF FILTH TOUR,I HOPE LOTS OF FOLK TURN UP....IT SHOULD BE A GOOD YIN,WE ARE ALL FEELING SLIGHTLY MENTAL ,I FEEL A BIT EMOTIONAL,ANDY HAS HAD A SHOWER,WE STILL HAVE A WEE AMOUNT OF MERCH YU HAVE TO BUY SO WE CAN GET HOME......I MAY EVEN SELL MASELF TO GET THE PETROL MONIES .......DIVORCE AND COMANECHI LOVE YOU ALL.....SEE YU TONITE.

No comments:

Post a Comment